Gaming Questions That Have Yet To Be Answered

We all know that games are fantasy worlds where anything goes. The laws of physics can be laughed at, respawning is second nature to us, any conceivable creature or object can speak and act like a human, and so on and so forth. Sometimes you can't avoid questioning some of these design choices (I for one can be nit-picky at times). For example, I'm sure everyone who has played a Zelda game has wondered how Link can carry a ton of items at the same time without being burdened the slightest bit. Today we look at some similar questions from gaming over the years.


1. Why is Pacman being chased by ghosts?

 
Seriously, think about it for a second.  What's the story behind Pacman?  Is he exorcising a haunted house?  Strolling through a graveyard on Halloween?  Apparently Pacman is the first survival-horror game ever created.  Not only that, but the main character makes protagonists from later games seem like a bunch of sissies.  After all, this spherical badass can eat ghosts.


2. Why are Dr. Robotnik's technological creations so powerful, yet so vulnerable to being jumped on?

It seems that over the years Dr. Robotnik has created every sort of metal monstrosity known to mankind/hedgehogkind.  How is it that machines which are capable of burrowing through solid rock, or being fully submerged in lava, are brought to their knees when a tiny hedgehog jumps on it?

Maybe the lava weakened the armor plating?

The rock is no match for the hedgehog.

You'd think that after getting his ass kicked multiple times in Sonic the Hedgehog 1, Robotnik would have invested more into his R&D department.  It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Sonic dies when he touches metal spikes, just cover your machines with these to ensure world domination!


3. Why does Rayman have no limbs?

Ok maybe I'm starting to nitpick a bit much here, but seriously, what's going on here?  Is he the result of top secret government experiments?  Maybe he's a relative of Andross from the Star Fox games, or even Homestarrunner.  If his hands and feet are truly not connected to the rest of his body, then Rayman has a command of the Force that even Yoda would be jealous of.


4. Did anyone play-test Superman 64 before it was released?

Actually this one's pretty self-explanatory.

That wraps up our quick look at some of gaming's (mostly) unanswered questions.  If you have gaming questions you would like to see featured in a future blog entry, drop me an email at: strangegaming86@yahoo.com.

Crazy Controllers: Steel Battalion

Recently I came across a preview for a game I never thought would exist.  The game is Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor for the Xbox 360.  We all remember the first game in the series, Steel Battalion for the original Xbox.  Well ok, we don't remember the game itself so much, but it's hard to forget the incredibly crazy/awesome/expensive controller that came bundled with the game.

And to think, so many people were complaining about how huge the standard Xbox gamepad was.

It's obvious that Capcom was very serious about creating a proper mech simulator.  This incredibly complex controller had 40 buttons, which performed in-game actions such as starting the mech's engine, firing the weapons, and even washing the windshield.   Let's not forget the almighty eject button; if your mech was on the brink of destruction, you had a limited amount of time to hit the eject button, or else your saved game would be automatically erased.  Brutal.

This controller was required to play Steel Battalion, so those of us who couldn't afford the $200 price tag were left out of the party.  Out of curiosity I did a quick Ebay search to see what these controllers were going for these days, and the price range seems to be $70-$100.  Not bad if you want to see what you missed back in the days of the original Xbox (I for one have always wanted to try this game out).

For the newest installment in the Steel Battalion series it looks like Capcom is doing away with monstrously complicated controllers.  The game will use Kinect to allow you to interact with all the controls in the mech's cockpit.  The Kinect is still a bit pricey at $150, but on the bright side it can be used with multiple games, as opposed to paying $200 for the original Steel Battalion setup where the controller was only good for Steel Battalion.

This concludes an installment of Crazy Controllers, hope this brought up some nostalgia!

The Gabepire Strikes Back

This week amidst all the chaos of Mark Zuckerberg continuing to manipulate the masses (i.e. Facebook has been updated yet again), I happened to come across this picture on Facebook:

Seeing as I'm a huge Team Fortress 2 fan (as well as a Star Wars fan), I couldn't help but create my own version of this picture, using every Valve gamer's favorite punching bag: Gabe Newell.

These aren't the delayed games you are looking for.

It's very easy to draw parallels between Facebook users and Team Fortress 2 players, seeing as both sets of people complain like mad whenever a large update is released for their respective platform.  I for one am glad that Valve continues to support TF2 nearly four years after the game's release, but sadly I have at times been among the complainers.

When item trading was first introduced, I absolutely loathed it, mainly because the chat topics on the servers immediately switched over from strategizing to weapon trading.  This greatly ruined the TF2 experience for many weeks until finally players created trading servers for such things, and strategy chat made a triumphant return in the regular servers.

Also, while I now accept that new weapons are added to TF2 every couple of weeks, I still miss the days when new weapons were a special occasion.  Fellow TF2ers know what I'm talking about; new weapons were released every few months or so, and to unlock them you had to complete achievements.  None of this random drop nonsense.

But anyway, Team Fortress 2 is still awesome, no matter how much the Newell team messes with it!

The Freaks of Bioshock, Part 3 Finale: The Big Daddies

What do you get when you brainwash The Incredible Hulk and send him on a deep sea diving expedition? A Big Daddy of course!

Captain Nemo better be thankful he never came across Rapture.

Well not exactly, but it's as close an analogy as any.  Big Daddies are essentially the face of Bioshock, and for most gamers they are the first thing that comes to mind when this game is mentioned.

In-game, the purpose of the Big Daddies is to protect the Little Sisters while the girls cheerfully extract ADAM from the many Splicer corpses littered throughout Rapture.  Initially Little Sisters went about this task on their own.  But as you can imagine, with such model citizens as the psychopathic, ADAM-addicted Splicers, gathering ADAM was not a walk in the park (or a walk in Arcadia).  After suffering numerous Little Sister casualties, Dr. Suchong proposed to create protectors for the brainwashed girls, beginning the era of Big Daddies in Rapture.

A Big Daddy is essentially a Rapture citizen who is spliced to the extreme, giving him extreme muscle mass and agility.  The cost is a loss of humanity due to the mind control splices that are part of the conversion process.  For reasons not explained, the vocal chords of a Big Daddy are modified to give him a super deep voice which can only make moaning and growling sounds.  Lastly, the skin of the subject is removed and the subject is attached directly to a deep sea diving suit, so that the suit essentially becomes his new skin.  Due to this being a splicing process that is obviously not very desirable, volunteers were non-existent, leading to forced Big Daddy conversions.

The two types of Big Daddies encountered in Bioshock are the iconic, drill-equipped Bouncers and the rivet gun-equipped Rosies.

The Bouncer

The Rosie

As you can see from the following video, these protectors of Little Sisters do their job fairly well; any hostility towards a Little Sister is met with total brutality:



These hulking monstrosities are the most difficult enemies in the game to take down.  However, unlike the other enemies in the game, they will not attack you unless provoked, which gives you time to prepare and strategize.  Once you initiate a battle (and you must battle at least some of these guys, because you need ADAM from the accompanying Little Sisters), prepare for a thrilling experience as these gigantic tanks try to cut you in half!

This concludes our look at the many freaks of Bioshock, now get out there and mow down some Splicers!

Nintendo 3DS and the Raiders of the Awkward Right Joystick

Sorry for the lack of updates the past couple weeks, I have plunged into the world of web development and have been caught up learning PHP and CSS, as well as re-learning HTML (an annoying language in my opinion).

Anyway, a bit of news about the Nintendo 3DS that I thought worth mentioning in this blog of strangeness: the incredibly awkward-looking right analog stick add-on.

Is it just me or does this add-on look incredibly clunky and uncomfortable?  From an aesthetic standpoint, it gives the impression of a cheap and rushed addition.  Also it seems as if the face buttons would be a little difficult to reach during an action-packed gaming session.  Here's hoping for a future redesign of the 3DS that will incorporate dual analog sticks into a better controller layout.

The Freaks of Bioshock, Part 2: Little Sisters

Last time we covered the freakiest of the Bioshock characters, the Splicers.  In part 2 of this series we will look at everyone's favorite creepy brainwashed children: the Little Sisters.

If the glowing eyes don't make you run for your life, maybe the bloody syringe will.

Little Sisters were "created" in order to produce ADAM, the substance discussed in part 1.  They are girls who have been implanted with a certain sea slug, creating a symbiotic relationship between the two beings.  Using the girl as a host, the slug generates massive amounts of ADAM, which can be harvested by causing the Little Sister to vomit.  Pretty disgusting so far right?  It gets worse.


As the civil war in Rapture continued on, it was discovered that ADAM could be recycled from the blood of Splicers who had been killed in battle.  In order to perform the recycling, Little Sisters were required to extract and drink the blood of Splicer corpses.  It makes you wonder what is going on in the heads of the game developers at 2K Games.  Anyway, the Little Sisters were brainwashed into seeing corpses as "angels," which means they have no problem jamming syringes into dead bodies to withdraw and drink their blood.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

As a result of the implanted slug, the brainwashing treatment, or both, Little Sisters speak in a creepy voice worthy of a demon possession.  They cheerfully dance around the halls of Rapture, singing in their freaky voices or talking to their companions, the Big Daddies (more info to come!).

If you decide to panic and gun down every Little Sister in sight, you are out of luck.  They are immortal as long as the slug lives inside them.  However, if you play through Bioshock as an evil bastard, you can "harvest" the slugs from the Little Sisters, effectively killing them, and bringing you closer to the dark ending of the game.

The Freaks of Bioshock, Part 1: Splicers

Bioshock is a great game with an even greater atmosphere to experience.  If you can use your imagination and get past the fact that it is impossible to build such a city as Rapture, then you really feel as if you are exploring the wreckage of a once-grand underwater metropolis.  The eery environments are made even creepier due to the fact that you know you are going to encounter a myriad of the game's signature freaks, some of which will gladly appear at unexpected moments when your guard is down.

Since there are so many weird character types in Bioshock, this will be a multiple part blog series, starting with the creepiest inhabitants of Rapture: the Splicers.

The Splicers are the most common type of enemies encountered during your trip to Rapture.  They were once normal citizens who fell victim to the popular trend of splicing, which involves using a substance called ADAM to rewrite a person's DNA.  The result is that the person gains superpowers, but at the cost of destabilizing his or her body cells.  In other words, they go insane and their bodies become hideously deformed.  In addition, splicing causes a drug-like addiction, so as a result you have yourself a top-notch psychopath.  Quite a few of the Splicers are ashamed of how deformed their faces have become, and wear masks to hide it.  However the masks can be knocked off, and not all Splicers wear masks, so you are bound to be creeped out no matter what.

WHERE'S...MY.......ADAM??!!

Splicers come in many forms, such as the Thuggish Splicer (pictured above), and the Leadhead Splicer, who attack you with blunt objects and guns respectively.

There are also more super-powered variants such as the Spider Splicer, who can climb on walls and ceilings, and tend to drop down right in your face when they attack.

Spider Splicer

It is worth noting that in Bioshock 2, Spider Splicers have become extremely deformed, and are probably the creepiest enemies in the game:

Spider Splicer in Bioshock 2

One of the most challenging Splicer types is the Houdini Splicer.  This Splicer has the ability to teleport to different areas of the room, as well as the ability to blast you with fireballs when attacking you head on.

Houdini Splicer

Now, keep in mind that you encounter these cheerful citizens of Rapture in dark, quiet, abandoned locations.  Needless to say, there are plenty of jump out of your seat moments in Bioshock, and that's part of what makes this game such an entertaining experience.